Sumos Get High-Tech

You’re huge, you’re obese, you make a rhino look tiny, and your livelihood depends on it.

What prevents you from integrating into the modern technological world?

Big fingers.

Why? You can’t text.

This is bad. Really bad.

So what do you do?

Get your boss to give you an iPad, of course.

Such is the dilemma (and resulting solution) rocking the ranks of the Japan Sumo Association. Sumo wrestlers have a tough time punching the tiny keys on cell phones, their chubby fingers tending to hit multiple keys at once.

In order to improve communication among the wrestlers and JSA officials, sumo wrestlers are being issued the latest iFad -- the iPad.

Oversized touch screen keys on the iPad will allow sumos to develop texter’s thumb just like the members of the not-so-grotesquely-sized world.

Previously to this, sumos were restricted to the primitive means of communication known as fax, email, and telephone (talking into telephones, that is).

But now sumos can fit into society once again.

“ROTFL -- and trying to figure out how to get back up.”